Aubrey Smith
The opinions expressed by the Tabor College EML student bloggers and those providing comments are theirs alone, and do not reflect the opinions of Tabor College. Tabor College is also not responsible for the accuracy of any of the information in the post.
I quit ministry. I quit church. I quit trying. After 2 short years in youth ministry, I encountered an all too common occurrence known as burnout. I was running 100 MPH, promoting programs, facilitating small groups, planning worship sets, calling parents (and that was only Wednesday.) I was tired and emotionally depleted. I didn’t like myself and I eventually lost passion for the job. At 20-years-old, I didn’t know how to deal with the emotional exhaustion. So I quit trying.
I fell out of ministry and into therapy. I learned tactics and tools for dealing with burnout. I discovered healthy avenues for coping with stress. I couldn’t help others until I helped myself. And then discovered a beautiful little concept called Self Care.
While working in higher ed. I came across a new graduate program entitled Entrepreneurial Ministry Leadership. Despite the burnout, I still felt deeply called to ministry and this degree intrigued me.
- A choose your own degree approach
- See a need, fill a need
I started dreaming about ministry again. I was going to fight against sex trafficking, design new programs for kids with disabilities and shelter every homeless teen in Wichita.
Yea…big dreams, I know.
But then I realized, there are experts already assisting these people. So my focus shifted and I decided to help the people who help people. I decided to create a Self Care Day for individuals working in the human service profession (i.e. social workers, staff members from non-profit organizations, pastors, caretakers, volunteers, teachers, counselors, nurses, etc.)
I envisioned this day would:
- empower and promote spiritual growth
- be a time where people could experience self-care exercises (i.e. prayer, nature walk, massage, journaling, counseling, etc.)
- help them re-energize, grieve, process, grow, and rest
I believed these individuals would benefit from understanding that their mental, emotional and spiritual resources can become easily depleted. I wanted to help educate and raise awareness regarding the importance of self care together.
So last fall, I did it. I stepped back into ministry and out of burnout. I stopped trying to “self care” alone. I invited 9 staff members to join me in the fight against burnout. Together we refreshed. I even hosted it at the youth center where I first quit trying. (Can you say, “full circle”?!)
You see… had I kept trying, had I pushed through the emotional exhaustion, I might still be in youth ministry. A bitter, burned out cynic for Jesus. Would that have been better? I doubt it.
I am not suggesting, “If you quit trying, everything will work out!” I am suggesting an evaluation of your emotional status. I was trying to perform. I was keeping busy so I wouldn’t feel. I was trying to do it on my own (turns out, we need Jesus.)
We need others. We need self care. And sometimes, we need to quit trying.
Are there areas in your life you need to quit trying? Maybe it’s an emotionally toxic relationship? What areas could you “self care” better? Maybe it’s time to quit the performance and take care of yourself, so you can care for others. Join me.